Peek-A-Boo

She walked into the restroom only to find that the cleaning lady was in there. This was one of those moments where she had waited until she could wait no longer, so she looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to use the restroom. I can't wait until you're finished."

The lady smiled and said that was fine; she didn't have to wait for her to finish.

So she walked into the stall and went about her business, while the cleaning lady continued to stock the room with the necessary supplies.

As she was finishing up and getting ready to stand up and exit, the empty seat cover box was suddenly removed and she looked over and there was a face - RIGHT THERE! Right where the toilet seat covers were being replaced.

Okay, HELLOOOO???? I realize that you have a job to do, but could you not wait until I wiped my ass and vacated the stall before you completed this one particular task??

She didn't actually say that out loud, but I'll bet she was thinking it...

OH MY GOODNESS! I can not tell you how happy I was that this one bathroom nightmare story did not belong to me.

That's right, this one wasn't mine...This one belongs to a friend/co-worker of mine. She told me about it last Friday - knowing my feelings and issues with public bathrooms - and I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants - good thing I wasn't wearing my Spanx that day. I'm just sayin.

Anyway, it was so funny to me that I thought I would share it with you. After all, everyone needs a good laugh every once in a while, right? AND since it happened to her and not me....Oh, who am I kidding? This one would have ended up on the blog no matter who the victim it happened to.

So I already know how I would have handled this situation, but how about you?? What would you have done if this had been you??

Doctors, Puzzles and Public Bathrooms

It's become somewhat of a weekly ritual. The mother and her youngest girl go into the doctors office together. The girl plays with the waiting room puzzles, while her mother goes in to get her shot. After she gets her shot and the puzzle is back together again, they go into the restroom for a quick pit stop before the commute back home.

The young one goes into the stall on the left side, while her mother goes into the one next to her - making her feel like she's a big girl.

But today the big girl ran into a little snag.

Hitting this little hiccup, she came out of her stall and paced back and forth outside of her mothers stall, trying to peek through the cracks to figure out a way in all while trying to explain the problem.

Finally deciding that there was no other way in, the girl crawls into her mothers stall and says, "I can't buckle it."

Laughing, she unbuttons her daughters pants and thanks the Good Lord that there is never anyone else in this restroom as the child then unlocks the door and walks out of her mothers stall and back into hers, where she is finally able to complete her task at hand.

Reason 999 Why I HATE Public Bathrooms!

We have been having bathroom drama at work for the past few weeks and with my LOVE of public restrooms I thought I would rant about my frustrations share my story with you.

Apparently they have changed our cleaning crew and the lady that we used to have - who kept everything nice and stocked at all times for us - was let go when this new company took over.

Now, you should know that the floor I work on is a training floor; meaning the ladies restroom on that floor is an extremely busy place!

The problem is, since this new company has arrived, the ladies restroom has not been receiving the attention that it needs to remain functional. For the past two weeks we've had no paper towels in the dispenser; there were several a few days when we had no paper towels at all and we probably still wouldn't if someone I had not put a roll in there. We've had no back up toilet paper, they haven’t refilled our hand soap - I think I got the last squirt this evening - and we’re almost out of seat covers.

I have been complaining to politely informing our maintenance engineer of our bathroom woes every day for the last two weeks - with the exception of the days that I was out of town - I'm sure he is so sick of just loves me!!

By now I'm sure you are all aware of my feelings regarding public bathrooms...

HATE THEM!!!

I understand that it's a natural bodily function that we all must have, but that doesn't make it any easier for me when the time comes that I actually need to visit the dreaded public facility. **Shudder**

What if I have a natural bodily function and make an accidental noise??

What if someone KNOWS what I'm doing in here??

What if it makes a splashing sound??

What if it stinks??

Should I flush or don't flush??

If you flush, but you don't come out then they WILL KNOW what you're doing; on the other hand, if you don't flush the smell may linger longer and then they WILL KNOW what you're doing.

Should I spray or don't spray??

If you spray, they might hear the spray and then they WILL KNOW what you're doing; on the other hand, if you don't spray it may stink and the smell may linger longer and then they WILL KNOW what you're doing.

The list for my love of public restrooms goes on and on...

If I MUST use a public restroom - and I drink nothing but water all.day.long. so it is inevitable that I do have to go, many times, throughout the day - I MUST have a seat cover; because, for some reason, women have trouble hitting the actual bowl and they sprinkle on the seat. Upon finishing, I MUST have toilet tissue and, once finished, I MUST have soap to wash my hands. I realize that many people just run their hands under the water and call it all good but I am not one of them! After I was my hands - with the soap and water - I MUST have paper towels to dry them.

NONE of which are being stocked with our new cleaning crew - which makes it even more insufferable than usual.

When I was in Georgia I had another bathroom scare.

My nerves were jumbled and there was a rumbly going on in tummy. I was afraid the inevitable was upon me so I went into their bathroom. Upon discovering that it was not open to the general public, it was clean, AND no one else had access when it was occupied I felt a little more relieved.

I sat down and THAT'S when I saw it.

It's by far, the scariest thing I've ever seen in a work bathroom.

I've heard that some people have them in their bathrooms at home but I NEVER expected to see one in a place of business.

It scared me so bad, I forgot all about the rumbly in my tummy. I hurriedly finished and got out of there as quickly as possible.

I told my girlfriend, Katie, about my bathroom scare and she asked me if I stepped on it.

"NO WAY!" I said.

"Good Girl!" She replied.

"I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm not STU-PID!!"

There was NO.WAY.IN.HELL that I was stepping my fat ass on that scale!

As it is, I'll probably have nightmares for weeks to come...

Around and Around We Go

By now, I'm sure you are all aware of my feelings about public restrooms.


HATE THEM!!


That being said, you also know that they aren't always avoidable. When I must break down and visit the public facilities the best I can hope for, is that they are clean.


Today, I went to the movies with my mom but before going to the movies we ate at McAlister's.


If you've ever been there you know they serve the worlds largest sweet tea! (AND they offer free refills)


I'm sure you know what that means......Yep, you guessed it. I had to go to the restroom.


So, I walk into the restroom and I was relieved to find that they were clean.


I make my way over to the last stall - us big boned girls like to use the large, handicap stalls (gives us a little extra elbow room).


But this must have been the worlds smallest handicap stall. There is NO WAY that a person who is wheelchair bound would be able to fit in a stall that tiny.


So, I use the restroom and go to pull the toilet paper only to discover that it was a brand new roll and the person who installed it didn't bother to get it started.


After a few minutes of turning the giant roll, I finally found what could be the starting point so I pulled it off.


At this point I was thinking to myself: if I stay in here long enough do you think my mom will come check on me to find out what's wrong?


After several more minutes of pulling off one.................... square.................... at.................... a.....................time, I finally had enough to dry myself off.


Whew! Who knew I was going to get such a workout by simply using the restroom??

I walked back into the theater, chuckling about my experience, and there sat mom, eating all the pop corn, not a care in the world.

I swear, the tidy bowl man could have flushed me down the toilet and she wouldn't have even noticed I was missing. It's nice to be loved.

Hey! Who Turned the Lights Out?

I HATE using public restrooms! I have always hated using them. When I was young, I would try to hold it until I got home and sometimes, if the urge was too bad, I would convince my mom to take me home.

However, it is not possible to NEVER use a public restroom. Sometimes, you just gotta go and the other day was one such day...

I had eaten something that didn't agree with me.

I had no choice, I was going to have to go use the restroom (dum du dum dummm).

So, I was sitting in the stall - praying that no one would come in - flushing frequently and spraying often.

Soon another person is in there, then another and now I'm having to play the "wait them out" game.

I sit in the stall, as still and quiet as possible so as not to give myself away.

One lady does what she has to do and gets out in a timely manner, but the other one wants to linger.

She takes her sweet time.

Finally she finishes and goes to the sink where she lingers a little longer.

MY GOODNESS! Does she just LIKE hanging out in public restrooms?

I am still sitting there, still have to use the restroom, and my legs are going to fall asleep waiting on this person to leave.

Obviously she doesn't know the "Bathroom Courtesy 101" rules:

Rule #1 - If you have to use the restroom but there is already someone in there with obvious issues, you should come back later.

Rule #2 - If you absolutely MUST use the restroom at that time, do what you've got to do and get out - quickly!!

She's already washed her hands AND dried them yet she continues to hang out in there and fiddle with her clothing - or whatever it is she was doing that was taking her so long.

FINALLY she's about to leave.

She turns off the light and walks out.

Um, Hellllllooooo?!?!
Who turned out the lights??

Now what??

Do I just sit here and wait for the next person to come in and turn the lights on? Oh what a laugh THEY would have...

I'm NOT going to call out!! THAT would be WAY too embarrassing. (I already don't want anyone to know I'm in there).

She must have gotten about half way down the hall when she suddenly realized what she had done because she finally came back in and turned them back on, then walks back out - she was probably trying to hurry up and leave so she wouldn't bust out laughing at the hilarity of it all.

WHEW!!! Let me hurry up and get out of here before anyone else comes in.

One more reason for me to hate public restrooms.

Where's the Privacy?

Today, as I walked into the restroom at work, I heard someone in one of the stalls talking on the phone and she continued to talk even as she flushed. the. toilet.

Sadly, this is not the first time I have experienced this - and one of the ladies sounded like she was discussing a business matter (it was definitely not a personal phone call). Can you imagine what the person on the other end thought as they listened to this person and discovered they were in the restroom? And they may not have realized it at first, but the realization had to hit when she flushed - that's a pretty distinctive sound.

Now I ask you.....Can you please tell me what it is, that you have to talk about, that could possibly be so important that you must talk on the phone while you are in a public restroom?? Seriously, can someone please help me understand that??

I have a hard enough time using the restroom while other people are in there; I certainly don't need you complicating matters further by bringing your boyfriend, husband, lover, WHATEVER into the restroom with you so that they can hear every little thing that's going on too.

And on top of all that, these people like to hang out in there to continue their conversation, even after they've finished using it. Sometimes I just want to say, "UH-HUM, COULD YOU LEAVE NOW?? It's bad enough you're in here on the phone in the first place - must you hang out here too? Could you not finish your conversation in the hall or the break room? What's the fascination with the bathroom?? I mean really.....what if someone had gas or something?!?!?"

This is just some whack booty!

I may be off base here, but I feel certain that the person you are talking to would understand if you were to tell them that you had to use the restroom and you would call them right back.....I know I would! Have you ever heard the term TMI?? This is kind of the same concept.

Give a person some privacy will ya? CRAP!

If anyone knows the answer as to why some people feel it necessary to talk on the phone in public restooms......I would love to hear it!!!