About Me

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Hello and welcome to a small snapshot of what life's like inside my little corner of the world. I'm Shelly, I have a satisfying career and I'm shackled to my supurb husband. I'm the step-monster to his stylish son and together we have two stunningly beautiful daughters - Sugar and Spice, two stubborn dogs and a squawking bird. These are just some of the stories of my life.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Beware - They're Out There!

I'm so proud of myself! I've had my blogs for a while now and I've posted about many, many topics but THIS is my very first post about people who can not drive!

There are those who like to say that I have road rage - you know who you are. However, I disagree with that assessment. I do not have road rage. Not once have I ever pulled up beside someone, rolled my window down and cursed them out. Not once have I ever sped around someone who cut me off and slamed on my brakes. Not once have I ever driven up beside someone, who I felt had wronged me, and swerved over to try to make them run off the road. Not once have I ever pulled out a gun and pointed it at or shot at another driver.

I am; however, a vocal driver - I will give you a piece of my mind in a minute, and loudly. I am always so impressed whenever I ride with someone who doesn't talk at, scream at, or cuss at other drivers when they do something stupid.

I am striving for improvement in this area; however, I come from a long line of vocal drivers - so I get it honest - and it's not easy to overcome those family genes, they're deeply imbedded. I have definitely made improvements but sometimes I fall of the wagon; like today...

I must have had my invisible cloak on as I drove home from work tonight because I had not one, not two, but three people pull out in front of me as if I wasn't there at all.

There were several traffic lights out around town today and, as you can imagine, traffic lights out during rush hour equals traffic backups. So, the North bound lanes were backed up and I was driving south, in the left lane. There were no other cars behind me, when this B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T driver, in a big ol' SUV with tinted windows, pulls out of a neighborhood to turn left - INTO THE LINE OF BACKED UP TRAFFIC!! Of course there was no where for him to go so he had his big ol' bohunkus stuck in my lane. I had to swerve into the right lane to miss him - what an idiot!

Now I ask you, WHAT could have possibly been so important that he couldn't have waited until I had passed to pull out and get stuck?

Next I was sitting at a red light. Our light turned green but we couldn't go because another genius driver (in an SUV) ran the red light. This caused the guy trying to turn left to have to wait. Once the coast was clear I started to go when this, oh so bright, woman - in yet another SUV - decided to turn left in front of me. HELLOOOO?!?!? (Well, at least she acknowledged her stupidity...she threw her hand up in an apologetic wave)

A few miles down the road, I was getting ready to turn left into a neighborhood. I put my blinker on and slowed down to turn, when this nitwit at the stop sign decided he could beat me - again, there was no traffic behind me. **sigh** What is it about me today that everyone seems to think they have to go BEFORE me??

I think the SUV's had it out for me today; they were definitely testing my awareness, as well as my reflexes. The good news is that, despite the multiple attempts at my annihilation, I made it home safely; and I only lost my temper with one of these morons.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Practically Impracticable

Do you remember the movie “What Women Want” with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt?

Do you remember the part where he was walking in the park and a woman jogged past him with her mind going ninety to nothing??


Well, that was me today!

If there ever were such a power, and I was the one whose mind he heard, he prolly woulda went insane!

I’m not sure what happened, but it was almost like someone flipped on the switch and it got stuck and then it short circuited. (circuited, is that a word? hmm?? **goes over to dictionary** Yep, it is!)
I’ll spare you the details of all the different directions my mind went - mostly because I can’t remember them – but let’s just suffice it to say that I was all over the map!

Normally, I will get a thought in my head and I’ll think about that one thing to completion, almost to the point of obsession; sometimes I have to force my self to stop thinking about whatever it is so I can do other things – like sleep. Today, I couldn’t even hold a thought long enough to think about what it was that I thinking about before my mind was off in another direction, thinking about something else. (Try to follow THAT logic!)

Throughout my life, I’ve had many a few people tell me, "you're so crazy!", but today was the first time that I’ve felt like it could be true (No Comments necessary, from the peanut gallery!!)

By the time I got to work, I felt like I had drunk a whole pot of French Vanilla Cappuccino – it felt like I was going to jump out of my skin!

My entire day seemed off kilter - hmmm??? I wonder if it's a full moon?? I'll have to check that out - I had several quirky computer problems and things seemed to get worse as the day went on.... I finally just gave up and called it a day.

THEN, I got home and turned on the news only to learn that our Mayor was nominated as one of 50 finalist for the annual "World Mayor" award - ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME?!?!?

**Scratches head** I must have heard that wrong...They must nominate themselves; yes, that MUST be it, that's the only logical explanation!

**Rewinds TV**

NO!?!?! (they don't nominate themselves)

Really?? Are you S-U-R-E??

YEP! It MUST be a full moon outside!!


The good news is…I made it through the day with all my skin still in tact. Although it wouldn’t have been SO BAD if some of the fat cells fell off; I could have lived with that! Note to self: Your medicine really IS working! In the future, try not to forget to take it two days in a row.

Updated to show tonight's moon phase:

Courtesy U.S. Naval Observatory

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Hey! Who Turned the Lights Out?

I HATE using public restrooms! I have always hated using them. When I was young, I would try to hold it until I got home and sometimes, if the urge was too bad, I would convince my mom to take me home.

However, it is not possible to NEVER use a public restroom. Sometimes, you just gotta go and the other day was one such day...

I had eaten something that didn't agree with me.

I had no choice, I was going to have to go use the restroom (dum du dum dummm).

So, I was sitting in the stall - praying that no one would come in - flushing frequently and spraying often.

Soon another person is in there, then another and now I'm having to play the "wait them out" game.

I sit in the stall, as still and quiet as possible so as not to give myself away.

One lady does what she has to do and gets out in a timely manner, but the other one wants to linger.

She takes her sweet time.

Finally she finishes and goes to the sink where she lingers a little longer.

MY GOODNESS! Does she just LIKE hanging out in public restrooms?

I am still sitting there, still have to use the restroom, and my legs are going to fall asleep waiting on this person to leave.

Obviously she doesn't know the "Bathroom Courtesy 101" rules:

Rule #1 - If you have to use the restroom but there is already someone in there with obvious issues, you should come back later.

Rule #2 - If you absolutely MUST use the restroom at that time, do what you've got to do and get out - quickly!!

She's already washed her hands AND dried them yet she continues to hang out in there and fiddle with her clothing - or whatever it is she was doing that was taking her so long.

FINALLY she's about to leave.

She turns off the light and walks out.

Um, Hellllllooooo?!?!
Who turned out the lights??

Now what??

Do I just sit here and wait for the next person to come in and turn the lights on? Oh what a laugh THEY would have...

I'm NOT going to call out!! THAT would be WAY too embarrassing. (I already don't want anyone to know I'm in there).

She must have gotten about half way down the hall when she suddenly realized what she had done because she finally came back in and turned them back on, then walks back out - she was probably trying to hurry up and leave so she wouldn't bust out laughing at the hilarity of it all.

WHEW!!! Let me hurry up and get out of here before anyone else comes in.

One more reason for me to hate public restrooms.