We dressed in our hippest threads, complete with my black hooker boots. I was looking as good as a girl my size can look.
On the way to the party I thought it might be a good idea for us to stop somewhere and grab me a bite to eat.
I knew they would have food, but I also know that the odds were not in my favor for liking what they had - being the worlds pickiest eater and all.
However, we have been to their house on numerous occasions and they've usually had something there that I would eat, so I didn't voice my concerns.
An empty stomach and six apple martinis later the hooker boots had been shed and it was time for us to go back to the safety of our house.
Note that they were small glasses so, in all actuality, I probably only had three regular sized drinks; the only thing is that I don't usually drink and three is definitely my limit - with food!
We arrive home safely and I decide that I'm going to play sexy for the husband. It's funny how a few of those drinks can make you feel like you've got your sexy back.
I'm lying on the bed, in my 'I'm so sexy' pose, waiting for him to finish getting everything in order and come into the bedroom.
Upon his arrival he looks at me, all sprawled out draped across the bed, and with a shocked look says, "what are you doing?" while quickly crawling into the bed beside me, to take advantage my drunken stooper this opportunity before it passes him by.
As I go to respond, still trying to maintain my 'sexiness',I fling my right hand high above my head only to smack it VERY HARD against the headboard.
OUCH!!!
Fortunately, I had enough drinks in me so as to lessen the pain - a little. But don't get me wrong. IT HURT!!!
The next day, when we woke up, he rolled over and accidentally grazed my hand, sending a shooting pain signal up to my brain, quickly reminding me of my not so graceful sexiness of the night before.
It's now a week later and my hand is starting to turn a lovely shade of greenish yellow, and it still hurts to the touch.
All I can say is....I hope he had fun because it doesn't look like I'll be drinking anymore apple martinis for a while - wouldn't want him to start 'expecting' this sort of activity ;)
Girl, you are a M-E-S-S!!
ReplyDeletehaha!!
I'm definitely going to miss your posts....;)
ReplyDeleteYou are funny!:)
Oh Yvette - yu make me laugh!!!
ReplyDeleteHope you are having a good weekend - Kellan
ROFLMAO...The bad part about this one is I got a mental vision of this as I read your story!! That made it even funnier to me!!! LOL Oh, don't worry...my vision stopped when you hit your hand!!LOL
ReplyDeleteThis is the funniest thing I've heard all week! LOL
ReplyDeleteBTW, got my good mail today, thanks! I'll be posting my "Goodies" tomorrow on my blog! :)
♡ Too funny! :)
ReplyDelete