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Hello and welcome to a small snapshot of what life's like inside my little corner of the world. I'm Shelly, I have a satisfying career and I'm shackled to my supurb husband. I'm the step-monster to his stylish son and together we have two stunningly beautiful daughters - Sugar and Spice, two stubborn dogs and a squawking bird. These are just some of the stories of my life.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Reason 999 Why I HATE Public Bathrooms!

We have been having bathroom drama at work for the past few weeks and with my LOVE of public restrooms I thought I would rant about my frustrations share my story with you.

Apparently they have changed our cleaning crew and the lady that we used to have - who kept everything nice and stocked at all times for us - was let go when this new company took over.

Now, you should know that the floor I work on is a training floor; meaning the ladies restroom on that floor is an extremely busy place!

The problem is, since this new company has arrived, the ladies restroom has not been receiving the attention that it needs to remain functional. For the past two weeks we've had no paper towels in the dispenser; there were several a few days when we had no paper towels at all and we probably still wouldn't if someone I had not put a roll in there. We've had no back up toilet paper, they haven’t refilled our hand soap - I think I got the last squirt this evening - and we’re almost out of seat covers.

I have been complaining to politely informing our maintenance engineer of our bathroom woes every day for the last two weeks - with the exception of the days that I was out of town - I'm sure he is so sick of just loves me!!

By now I'm sure you are all aware of my feelings regarding public bathrooms...


I understand that it's a natural bodily function that we all must have, but that doesn't make it any easier for me when the time comes that I actually need to visit the dreaded public facility. **Shudder**

What if I have a natural bodily function and make an accidental noise??

What if someone KNOWS what I'm doing in here??

What if it makes a splashing sound??

What if it stinks??

Should I flush or don't flush??

If you flush, but you don't come out then they WILL KNOW what you're doing; on the other hand, if you don't flush the smell may linger longer and then they WILL KNOW what you're doing.

Should I spray or don't spray??

If you spray, they might hear the spray and then they WILL KNOW what you're doing; on the other hand, if you don't spray it may stink and the smell may linger longer and then they WILL KNOW what you're doing.

The list for my love of public restrooms goes on and on...

If I MUST use a public restroom - and I drink nothing but water all.day.long. so it is inevitable that I do have to go, many times, throughout the day - I MUST have a seat cover; because, for some reason, women have trouble hitting the actual bowl and they sprinkle on the seat. Upon finishing, I MUST have toilet tissue and, once finished, I MUST have soap to wash my hands. I realize that many people just run their hands under the water and call it all good but I am not one of them! After I was my hands - with the soap and water - I MUST have paper towels to dry them.

NONE of which are being stocked with our new cleaning crew - which makes it even more insufferable than usual.

When I was in Georgia I had another bathroom scare.

My nerves were jumbled and there was a rumbly going on in tummy. I was afraid the inevitable was upon me so I went into their bathroom. Upon discovering that it was not open to the general public, it was clean, AND no one else had access when it was occupied I felt a little more relieved.

I sat down and THAT'S when I saw it.

It's by far, the scariest thing I've ever seen in a work bathroom.

I've heard that some people have them in their bathrooms at home but I NEVER expected to see one in a place of business.

It scared me so bad, I forgot all about the rumbly in my tummy. I hurriedly finished and got out of there as quickly as possible.

I told my girlfriend, Katie, about my bathroom scare and she asked me if I stepped on it.

"NO WAY!" I said.

"Good Girl!" She replied.

"I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm not STU-PID!!"

There was NO.WAY.IN.HELL that I was stepping my fat ass on that scale!

As it is, I'll probably have nightmares for weeks to come...


  1. What would a scale be doing in there???

  2. That is funny!
    Here I am fixing to embark on the journey of a lifetime, and what do you think my NUMBER 1 concern is?....
    That's right, the bathrooms.
    I hate using public restrooms, and I don't like "sharing" one with others either (Shudder).

    Note to self: No coffee for the entire 24 days....just in case.:)

    I also have the "spiritual gift" of always going into the only bathroom stall that is completely out of toilet paper...They put rolls the size of cheese wheels in there, but I always manage to enter the stall the second after the last "square" has been used.:)

    And don't even start about the scales...(Shudder) ;)

  3. ROFLMAO You are a riot!! I never really thought much about using public restrooms but all your "what ifs" have me thinking...what if "they" think I actually went in the restroom to rest and not to use it. What would they think then???? Hummmmmmmmmm

  4. You're so darn funny! You put into words exactly how I feel when I use a public restroom but have never told anyone. This was very well written!

  5. You are too crazy!!! I thought you were going to say you saw a ROACH!!


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